Manly Man

This goes out to Shaffer, my favorite Manly Man. He got a pedicure and a manicure just the other day---I thought that this completed his new Manly Man persona.

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NATE-DOGG IS IN THE HOUSE!

I have missed this.
My wife any I were stirring last night when she asked me if I would go through the "E.V. Box" with her. It's a GBX shoe box that I threw all the memories that I could physically touch and that were confined to 8x10 pieces of paper or smaller. There were tons of cards, notes and letters sent from back home sitting in the box. We read through some of them. Most were from my mom and sisters. There was a brochure from Frankenmuth: "Michigan's Little Bavaria." The memories there… walking around with Kat-Knap and Emily (Stranz at the time... fixed that as fast as I could!). I remember Emily stairing at the glass dolphins at the glass shop and wanting so bad to throw, you know, $80 bucks on the counter and tell her to pick out the one she wanted... still wasn't a baller, not even then. But I DID pay for the three of us to go through the glass maze! I didn't get lost alone with Emily but it was worth the money anyway.

There was a letter that I had written home that described what a day was like in Flint. It was fun to read through that and relive the experience. Waking up to David's special alarm clock that sounded more like a watch alarm. Listening to Pastor Pierpont BEFORE breakfast and being okay with the fact that he never stopped when he was supposed to for us to have breakfast (I was always okay with that...I had roots at North Belt Baptist Church, out at 12:45pm...maybe). The letter talked about all the great songs and poems that were written during that time. It talked about food. Reminded me how much I could never live there again because of the scarceness of real MEAT! Of course it talked of Mays playing the piano and how much I liked sitting and listening. It talked about Shaffer.

I miss that guy. Shaffer, I miss you! Come to Texas. I've been thinking a lot about Shaffer recently. He just seems to come up in my mind often. A lot of old friends have been on my mind, the guys that I have been close with.

There was a little note in one of my journals during that time that said something like, "I don't want to miss out on the revival that God wants to start with the young people..." something like that. For a brief second, well more like a few minutes, the thought haunted me. I thought that maybe I had missed it. Maybe I am too late. Maybe I did miss that chance. The longing to be apart of a movement like that is still there, stronger then ever. I am only twenty-three. I am still young. I just have to put myself in God's way and let Him move me. Here's to putting myself in God's way, I guess.

There were a lot of notebooks with scratches of thoughts that I had during that time. I wanted so badly to write out those thoughts to conclusion. I can still feel them burning holes in my chest when I read them. It's like they flame up again. Little phrases that wrapped an entire conviction or classroom that God had me in. These scratches were the thoughts that were the beginning of getting something figured out. I would pencil them on paper in hopes of coming back and working them out. I still feel that burn in my stomach when I go back and look at it.

But enough on the stuff that really only means something to me...

okay...personal update.

i was off today for the first time since sunday of last week which was the first time since tuesday of the week before. i know. not really that bad. but it seems long and frustrating when you never sleep and dont enjoy sleeping anyway because you feel like the "has-to-get-done-yesterday" list is getting longer than you can manage. my truck alternator went out (i dont remember what day that was but it was early last week...or maybe the week before). that was the big thing that was frustrating me along with a ton of little things - like my room being out-of-control messy and my hair needing to be cut, ect.

i also hadn't been able to work out for, like, almost two weeks. that was really frustrating. so i went out and bought some weights that i could use at the house for a little more then what a month gym membership was.

but today was the day of redemption. i fixed my truck, got a haircut, worked out, did some other small things that needed to get done and fell asleep on Emily's couch until 3:00am at which time i came back to were i stay and got on the computer to accomplish more small things such as paying bills.

goodnight.

GOD THING...

A friend of mine, fellow soldier in Christ's army and a brother as well as a very talented web designer, is designing a website for the whole, "ToThoseWhoAreCalled," thing. It is still in the, "Coming Soon," stage but we are hoping to get it up and going in a few weeks. It is going to be exciting and tailor made for guys as a tool to fellowship with other brothers an draw closer to Christ. It is bigger than anything that I ever imagined and is something only God could orchestrate.

Stay tuned. It is going to be awesome. I will give you more information on the new site later.

Well, it has been a long time. I miss xanga. I miss friends. I miss being able to talk and have conversation and feel like I am in touch with peoples lives around me without having to spend eight hours a day on the phone (I hate talking on the phone especially when I don't have reception and I have to much going on in my life to do it. Sorry to all you people who thought I actually enjoy talking to you on the phone. It's not personal. Not that I never enjoy it. I enjoy phone conversations that are not keeping me from doing something else. I am chasing rabbits).

So guys, I have felt like the Lord has been wanting me to do this for a long time. It never happened under Nephilim because God never brought me to the place to pull the trigger. Not that I am abandoning the whole "Nephilim" idea but the Father had me pursuing Christ-like manhood and stop trying get everyone to understand what "Nephilim" is all about. The Nephilim is still very important to me. But this isn't about the Nephilim. It's about doing what the Lord has been prompting me to do for a long time. Check it out: www.xanga.com/ToThoseWhoAreCalled

I am thinking of it as a guy interaction/bible study/a bunch of other things, page where us guys can find out what true discipleship is and what true Christian manhood is.

But know I am tired so I expire.